Scotland's 'jolly fat man' Alex Salmond did a speech in the event he won the Scottish independence referendum.
I decided to re-write it, this is what he should have said.
' In the early hours of this morning,
The community of this realm has spoken, you spoke out against Nationalist hate and lies, you spoke out against SNP nepotism; you spoke out against SNP cronyism.
I heard your personal message to me and Nicola Sturgeon said with passion and principle:
I do so with no respect for our differences, with the bitterness and anger for you opposing my strongly held views, and with the recognition that the joy of the majority be tempered by the disappointment of the minority I duped with false promises.
We aren’t One nation. One
Scotland. We are a divided country,
and the One Scotland slogan was nicked from a diversity campaign because we are
so bereft of ideas and original thought.
This so called campaign wasn’t reclaimed from politicians and parties who had the monopoly of power and decision-making, the Yes Campaign was an SNP front, run by the SNP, directed by the SNP for the benefit of the SNP such was the contempt we held Scots in.
This must be the start of new politics - a time when the voices of the many will be heard and ignored as usual, a time to consolidate hate into a block vote, the SNP through-out its history has been run as a cult and will continue to be so.
The dispossessed and the forgotten who assert their rights as citizens will be ignored, the time of empowerment and participation will only be among a select few setting up phoney little groups to make out they represent Scotland.
To our friends and families across these isles waking to our new democracy, we say this; know that, in
Scotland, you will always have your
closest friend, greatest ally and most steadfast partner as my members put
their relatives and partners into key unelected positions of government.
I have just spoken with the Prime Minister.
This morning, we renewed our joint commitment under the Edinburgh Agreement to work constructively and positively to implement the will of the people. That work starts immediately and ends immediately as we don’t like the result.
It is, however, important that the people of Scotland remember this; today, tomorrow and for the next 18 months our lives, businesses, shops, schools and hospitals continue exactly as before and then there would have been a financial black hole which would have been blamed on Westminster so that we could have manipulated the election timetable to get the first independent SNP Government.
The blame game dialogue to resolve any differences with the
Westminster government would
continue for years in any successful independence bid.
Finally, I know that the eyes of the world are today on
laughing at me, thinking how petty and small minded and lacking in vision I am.
We will use the unprecedented attention to make clear that
fully intends to be a constructive and progressive member of the international
community despite the SNP Government being backward looking and uninspiring.
Our friends in Europe should understand with total clarity that
future lies as a fully-engaged participant in the European Union because we
want access to the European Central Bank and the Euro.
Our path is towards inclusion and co-operation, not isolation which is just talk and meaningless rhetoric to fool the gullible will continue.
But those matters are for another day.
This morning, I want every person, Yes voters, No voters, everyone in this proud and ancient nation to pause, reflect upon and remember this greatest day in
The end of my political career, so many people personally despised me and became active.
They did this. They made it happen. They believed. They trusted ourselves and trusted each other.
A country reborn. A democracy reclaimed from illiberal fascists. They reached towards the future.
What they have done this day will inspire and empower not just this generation but the many yet unborn.
They will learn of this momentous day and thank you for investing your trust in each other. And in them'.
I think this is the speech that Salmond should have delivered to camera the morning after the night before.
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University