Scotland’s ‘jolly fat man’ Alex Salmond is a rather stupid little man.
He thinks that he can by threat dictate Scotland’s membership of the European Union.
His latest blunder was to threat to ban EU fishing fleets from Scottish waters if his proposals for an independent Scotland's membership of the EU weren’t fast tracked.
Another inglorious episode that shows he is no statesman.
What should he have done?
He should have said the opposite; he should have said that the EU fishing fleet was welcome in Scottish waters if Scotland gained independence and completion of EU membership.
But like the stupid small man he is, he just couldn’t do it, Scotland needs a Nationalist leader, it doesn’t need Alex Salmond.
Neither; he or unpopular Nicola Sturgeon can lead Scotland to independence.
As well as a fishing ban, he also proposed a blanket ban on fishing vessels passing through Scottish waters en route to Norwegian grounds.
This means Salmond thinks he can dictate terms of EU membership.
Ironically Salmond was in Belgium for a speech in Belgium on Scotland's "enthusiastic and engaged" attitude towards the EU.
Scotland Office minister David Mundell said of Salmond’s rant, it would be in breach of international law.
Patricia Ferguson, Scottish Labour's external affairs spokeswoman, warned it would "not go down well" with member states.
So, what would Salmond use to Police the North Sea, if he reneges on Scotland’s share of the UK debt, he would even have a rubber dinghy to paddle after offenders.
Yesterday, Salmond was outed as brown nosing foreign leaders such as Putin of Russia and Merkel in Germany.
His oil offensive saw him stick his head so far up Angela Merkel’s arse that her ass cheeks could rest on his shoulders!
And yet again, Salmond and Sturgeon weren’t able to get in anywhere political powerful instead Salmond had to make do with addressing academics and students at the College Of Europe in Bruges.
Salmond’s says he wants an independent Scotland to join the EU on similar terms to the UK within an 18-month timescale.
He also wants to veto the right of the 28 members to say no by threats.
Salmond calls this tactic; a "practical, common sense approach".
Who does this fat fool think he is dealing with?
His speech was billed as a "charm offensive."
The First Minister also took the time to used his speech to call for a series of EU reforms to help tackle inequality, prioritise green energy and "restore faith" in the bloc's own policy-making.
Sowning the seeds of a No, the EU won’t take kindly to being flagged up on inequality, especially from a hypocrite like Salmond, a man who doesn’t practice want he preaches.
As part of the charmless offensive, he attacked Brussels regulations that prevented him requiring firms engaged in public contracts to pay the "living wage".
On the issue of the EU referendum sweeping Britain, Salmond talked about a profound democratic deficit.
Alex Salmond doesn’t want to give Scots the right to decide if they want to remain part of the EU.
It seems that Salmond has grown more and more disassociated from reality, he thinks that a tail can wag a dog!
Referring to Prime Minister David Cameron's promise of an in/out referendum on EU membership Salmond warned:
"Unless we choose to change our circumstances this September, we could be dragged out of the European Union against our will."
The majority of Scots from polling would vote to leave, he is talking about his little clique, he doesn’t represent Scotland.
His proposed ban of free travel is much like the talk of African despot Robert Mugabe.
David Mundell, the Conservative Scotland Office minister said:
"It has been a telling day for the First Minister's judgment”.
Clearly people are now seeing the real Alex Salmond, the mask of the jolly fat man dropped, the old Alex, the spoilt little boy who married a woman old enough to be his mother is back with full force.
"In the morning, we read about his admiration for Vladimir Putin and by afternoon he was threatening EU members with fishing ground blockades - the very members he would need to unanimously accept a new Scottish state. It has not been a masterclass when it comes to his diplomacy skills."
"An independent Scotland would also be duty bound under international law to grant free passage to Scottish waters for vessels passing through en route to Norwegian waters."
Labour's Patricia Ferguson said:
"His thinly-veiled threats about blockading the rest of Europe from Scottish and even Norwegian waters will not go down well with those he seeks to persuade about Scotland's membership. These tactics are hardly about 'constructive engagement' or about being a good neighbour that wants to work in partnership with its neighbours."
It is now time for Alex Salmond to resign as SNP leader, my last article was about him wanting to be at the top table, as I said; the only route for him would be as a waiter, he isn’t a statesman; he isn’t a man for all seasons and he isn’t clever.
Scotland needs a Nationalist leader with vision, not some clown rambling on about green energy and thinking they rule the world from Bute House.
World leaders will look at this and think, ‘who is this utter tube think he is talking to?’
Vote No, we have to get rid of him and the SNP; he is making Scots a laughing stock and damaging Scotland’s reputation raving and ranting like Robert Mugabe and Zanu PF.
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University