The Scottish National Party makes a big deal that Sean Connery supports Scottish independence.
So where is Sean?
He lives in the Bahamas.
In his early life, he played James Bond 007 who as we know was shaken not stirred where action and Martini’s were concerned.
In the continuing saga that is the trial of Nationalist MSP Bill Walker, we have an ‘action hero’ who could rival 007.
Bill Walker is a double 00.
Instead of shooting bad guys, Bill Walker is supposed to be a dab hand at shooting pigeons.
At his trial, the jury was treated to the knowledge that the Nationalist MSP leapt into another of his former wife’s home brandishing an air gun.
Unfortunately he had to climb over a fence and didn’t land by parachute, in the old days; he probably couldn’t find an aircraft for an insertion.
Bill Walker’s second wife, Anne Gruber, said she got “the fright of her life” when he turned up uninvited with the weapon.
An air rifle, surely a silenced Ruger .22 would have been better, obviously Bill has to be ruled out of any future post as Scotland’s defence minister.
I bet he hasn’t even looked at the Norwegian Navy website either; Angus Robertson has, apparently it is supposed to be pretty good.
On the day that Bill Walker dropped into her home, she said she had been out for a birthday meal with another man that day.
Mrs. Gruber enthralled told the court by describing how she moved with her children to an address in Liberton, Edinburgh, in 1978 after the couple separated.
In true Hollywood style, she said she was sitting in the living room chatting to her friend when her dog began behaving strangely at the window.
Mrs. Gruber said:
“I opened the French window.”
Well you just would, wouldn’t you!
“Mr Walker jumped in with an airgun, which I recognised as a gun he used to use for shooting the pigeons. I got the fright of my life.”
I wonder if he bent his knees and rolled as he hit the deck in true paratrooper style or just rolled over the fence like something out a slapstick movie!
After seeing the air rifle, Mrs. Gruber said:
“I just ran to the phone and phoned the police and he disappeared and so did my friend. He must have climbed over the fence to actually get to where he was.”
Presumably the front door is still the best designated entrance even with the air rifle carrying public.
Mrs. Gruber’s highlight however, in my opinion, was when she told the court that Walker threw an empty wine bottle at her on one occasion at the address.
“He has a very quick temper and some minor thing would trigger off great anger and violence.”
Well when you shoot pigeons the battle fatigue must have been enormous, I wonder if he will lodge a defence of Post Traumatic Pigeon Disorder?
He will have to give up using an air rifle for the pigeon shooting if found not guilty.
Bill Walker denies all charges against him, all 24 charges.
So far no sign of Scotland’s unpopular Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon to support Bill Walker at his trial, she is too busy fighting for Scotland no doubt, and after that elusive women’s vote.
How about she organises women’s self defence classes, lesson one, how to dodge an empty wine bottle, could be the ‘big idea’ for her ‘big chance’.
And then there are the merchandising options, T shirts, polo shirts, pens, balloons, £330 Gold cufflinks and then the prize draw!
If there is anything positive to come out of this sorry episode, it is, that this trial although inconvenient for Bill Walker is giving some pigeons another day of life!
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University