Saturday, February 11, 2012

Swansea University invest in toilet education as they stick the learning process into the shitters, to create better university experience for all?

Dear All

If you thought you have heard it all regarding higher education then check out Swansea University.

Despite needing good grades to get on courses, the university has had to introduce information on how to use the toilet properly among the student population.

I shit you not!

Angry university bosses have drawn up a series of guidelines in the correct way to do for a dump on university premises.

Although toilet training has been mastered by most of the population, this is an unusual move and another possible indication that education is dumbing down.

University bosses said they were forced to put up instructions about how to use the toilets properly after some were found in a mess as a series of complaints flooded them.

I remember one time in my youth abroad on holiday, I had the unfortunate experience to use a toilet in a Belgium train station, as I was ‘cracking out a log’ I happened to glance at the ceiling as you do. To my horror, someone had slapped a turd to the ceiling above my head like the sword of Damocles earlier on in the day.

Needless to say, I sweated out that session and left the cubicle like someone who had discovered a massive explosive device (IED).

Phew that was close!

Anyway in explaining their decision, they blamed 'cultural differences' in the way the toilets are used by foreign students.

And they added some of whom are used to the 'squat toilets' common in parts of Asia and Europe.

Otherwise known as a hole in the floor!

A university spokeswoman said:

“The posters were produced to help address cultural differences that were unfortunately causing damage and hygiene issues. Swansea University is a multi-cultural campus community, and the informational posters were produced for use in both male and female facilities. The information was produced in conjunction with the International College Wales Swansea and displayed in key areas around the campus. Since the inception of these posters, the situation has greatly improved in the affected areas.”

Learning outcome, how to shit 101.

I wonder if anyone got any credits?

Naturally the posters have sparked student outrage among the 18,000 population.

Law student Stephanie Preedy, said:

“We all needed good A-levels to get into university, yet they don’t think we know how to use a toilet? It’s ridiculous and quite belittling.”

Hannah Prosser, a third year English student said:

“Most of us found the posters quite funny until we realised it wasn’t meant as a joke.”

At present the university feel the problem can be deal with by way of posters, no plans to produce a series of videos are in the ‘pipeline’.

Three times in my life have I come across a truly awful situation re: number two’s, once in Belgium, once at the Commonwealth Pool and once in the library. At the pool someone had shit on the floor completely missing the target and at the library someone shit in the urinal.

The problem will continue until scientists find a way to deal with the problem of organic creatures producing waste products out of their tailpipe!

Yours sincerely

George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

1 comment:

jobbie said...

I 'love' the way that our PC brigade creep around the issues to avoid causing offence.
These problems are due to the influx of Islamic students who have different toilet manners. Not worse than us just different.
They can't touch the turd or their shitty arse, even with paper for religious reasons. Toilets in saudi, bahrain etc for locals are squat and fire, then hose the ringpiece clean. All the faeces sprays around the toilet but as long as they don't touch the turd it's fine.
When they encounter Westernised toilets in hotels etc they squat on the seat and fire away. This leaves boot marks on the toilet seat.
So the Western students who think it's a reflection on them are just being kept ignorant of the situation to avoid causing offence to our visitors from abroad.