Thursday, August 25, 2011

Exclusive, high drama incident in Glasgow Library as man groans, grunts and squeaks while using the toilet, staff alert security, everyone lived

Dear All

Yesterday, I went to the toilet, nothing strange there you might think.

But it turned into high drama, as I was doing what a man’s got to do, in the sole cubicle in the toilet was a guy making weird noises.

Grunting and making strange animal noises like he was trying to strangle a very big water buffalo.

Being stoic, I kept on about my business.

Then washed my hands!

As I was using the hand dryer, the noises continued unabated as the guy must have gotten the better of the water buffalo.

Arghhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhhh! Arghhhhh!

Maybe he was training to go join the revolution in Libya, who knows, and found a spare water buffalo parked on the stairs for hand to hoof combat!

Up popped two staff members to inquiry if everything was alright and asking the man to come out.

But without asking him to put his hands up!

I finished drying my hands as the scene unfolded and then left, as I walked passed female staff they asked was I put off by the noise that they heard standing at their work station.

I replied, "no, I am brave”.

And the noises reminded me of the beast in Forbidden Planet, the movie, which one staff had seen.

We now have a situation in this country where you can’t even go to relive yourself without a drama.

As far as I could tell everyone lived.

But ‘let’s be careful out there’!

Maybe he was an extra in the Brad Pitt Zombie movie rehearsing his lines.

Yours sincerely

George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

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