Friday, June 10, 2011

Leicester City Council FOI reveals city 'not ready' for zombie attack, Glasgow unprepared too, May 2012 sees Labour vampires politically staked!

Dear All

For years and years, we have seen zombie movies, television shows and video games, so we know the genre of the ‘walking dead’.

And the only way to kill them is a bullet through the brain, preferably between the eyes.

Now, a worried member of the public has forced Leicester City Council to admit it is unprepared for a zombie invasion.

Which means that if the Con/Dem Coalition turns up in Leicester and starts walking the streets; people could be in danger?

Leicester Council has received a Freedom of Information request which said provisions to deal with an attack, often seen in horror films, were poor.

I take it that means their Land and Environmental services staff would have the problem fostered on them.

Round the walking dead up and transporting them to be burnt, no point in burying them, they would just climb back out the hole.

The "concerned citizen" said the possibility of such an event was one that councils should be aware of.

I wonder if a council official asked if he was a mad scientist.

Lynn Wyeth, head of information governance isn’t taking the prospect of an attack seriously, she said:

"We've had a few wacky ones before but this one did make us laugh."

People in Leicester are pretty much screwed then; everyone knows that there is no smoke without fire.

Zombie letter in full

Dear Leicester City Council,

Can you please let us know what provisions you have in place in the event of a zombie invasion? Having watched several films it is clear that preparation for such an event is poor and one that councils throughout the kingdom must prepare for.

Please provide any information you may have.

Yours faithfully,

Concerned Citizen

Ms Wyeth said she was unaware of any specific reference to a zombie attack in the council's emergency plan; however some elements of it could be applied if the situation arose.

That would be sending people out with a shovel to bash zombies over the head, getting Police to throw up a cordon and ensured that Councillors got to the emergency bunkers so the Council post invasion could function.

Ed Thurlow, who runs zombie website Terror4Fun, said he felt a zombie invasion in Leicester was highly unlikely.

Probably he is citing poor transport links and too many potholes.

He added:

"I think perhaps [the "Concerned Citizen"] has watched films like 28 Days Later a few too many times."

Glasgow City Council is also unprepared for zombies despite having the walking dead in power, Gordon ‘free dinners’ Matheson and his crew are currently walking about zombie fashion as electoral defeat beckons next May at the Glasgow City Councils Elections.

You can hear the groaning if you stick your ear to the wall at the city chambers.

If zombies invade Glasgow, Glaswegians would take a no nonsense approach, they would simply kick them in the nuts and send them off in a train to Edinburgh.

The simple solution to ensure Glasgow remains zombie free is to keep a good hand washing routine going.

Germs are everywhere, like Labour donors hawking for council contracts.

The real problem in Glasgow is vampires; Labour vampires suck the life blood out of the city of Glasgow.

Next May, SNP Candidates will be putting political stakes through their black hearts live on the telly.

Where’s me mallet?

Yours sincerely

George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University


12 inch pastrami on rye said...

Ha ha I wonder if Labour will advise people to follow their leader and hide in Subways.

12 inch pastrami on rye said...

Ha ha I wonder if Labour will advise people to follow their leader and hide in Subways.

pastrami said...

is there an echo in here ?

Anonymous said...

Yes... There's an echo. As for vampires refer to the post above.