Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Top toilet faces closure in Argyll and Bute, cuts may bite deep, but when your arse is on the line, time to rethink priorities, keep the bog open!

Dear All

One day I was standing in a street in Govan, Glasgow.

A guy walked pass with a trolley bag which was unusual because this is the type of thing you see little old ladies pull along the road.

At the end of the road, he stopped beside a wall.

And did a shit right in the street!

As Richard Wilson would say:

“I don’t believe it.”

After letting nature take its course he stood up, pulled up his joggies and went on his way.

I was shocked, broad daylight.

Now, a jewel in the crown of Argyll, a bustling tourist hotspot with several awards to its name has been lost.

A public toilet!

After years of faithful service the country’s top toilet is to be flushed for the last time.

Argyll and Bute Council has announced plans to shut the much-lauded facility in Ardentinny.

The proposal which has been condemned by local supporters who support the ‘right to wipe’!

Once named British Loo of the Year, the celebrated convenience has been earmarked for closure as the local authority faces up to budget cuts.

We are all in the poo now, so it is important to keep places like Ardentinny public toilet open.

Its fate will be decided at a meeting tomorrow.

And supporters fear that there is little hope for its survival.

Locals are now fearful of the consequences as visitors shun the 14-mile drive to Dunoon.

Bad enough standing in dog poo but now human as well, it’s too much.

What would wee Johnny say?

‘Mummy, why has that man got his rusty tin star up in the air in that bush’?

Along with the fabled tartan toilet of Kyle of Lochalsh, where visitors get a towel matched to their cubicle, the Ardentinny lavatory has drawn raptures of praise from those lucky enough to have used it.

It saw off stiff competition to win Loo of the Year in 2004, when one fan said:

“It’s so good I’ve stopped using my own toilet.”

Cheapskate saving on toilet roll!

And, what’s this, stiff competition in a toilet?

It was previously shut as a precaution since the freezing weather hit in December, but now faces the prospect of remaining closed for the foreseeable future.

Argyll and Bute Council stressed that the closure had not yet been finalised, and would be considered in detail tomorrow.

Keep the Ardentinny toilet open, what the hell are these people all about?

Yours sincerely

George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University

No comments: