Dear All
The Scottish Labour Party was today rocked by scandal as Labour Activists have to dress up as nuns to enter Glasgow North East to solicit votes.
Two members of the Labour Party were given communications devices and a heavy duty motorcycle for their task.
The pair were waved off at Glasgow City Chambers by local Labour leaders who informed the waiting press that;
“These two are expandable and the motorcycle is on hire, the company can collect it if they bring it back.
Armed with a clutch of leaflets highlighting how Labour is making life fair for rich people, the two stalwarts set off to Springburn only to return five minutes later for a map!
A convoy of press followed the two ‘champagne socialists’ to the deepest parts of the Springburn area.
A first knock on the door of a pensioner was deemed a success as the two managed to get a leaflet into her hands before she realised the Labour Party was calling.
Then all hell broken loose as the entire street wanted to know why the drains weren’t getting fixed!
A hurried press conference was arranged by the Labour Party duo as they tried to say it was the fault of the SNP but the people shouted back, “Labour run the Council dimwits’!
The Activists didn’t know this and finally admitted that they didn’t come from Glasgow but from Bearsden and Newton Mearns, affluent suburbs just outside Glasgow.
Finally, after delivering one leaflet to a pensioner, the mission was deemed a success;
“We may come back tomorrow and deliver another leaflet”; claimed one Activist out loud but everyone had walked away!
Yours sincerely
George Laird
The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University
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