Nicola Sturgeon’s SNP House of Horrors; ‘Countess Dracula’ aka Nicola Sturgeon needs new blood as her political corpse reaches terminal decline, an old misfit needing the new blood of young women so she can go out in the world, the endgame for Sturgeon is now in play, is the gender balance Cabinet the last roll of the dice?

Dear All

It appears thar SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon maybe about to do a Cabinet reshuffle, this is the equivalent of attempting to freshen up a dead corpse, in this case political. Like many people I have watched the SNP stew in their own juices as the Scottish Government achieves little for spending a lot. In a previous post, I was banging about the need for a ‘changing of the guard’.

Of course that change needed is the removal of Nicola Sturgeon, however, it seems that rumours are mounting that a number of senior ministers are leaving her government. Is this a clear out before we see another ‘abandonment’ of government as the SNP rush off to chase independence?

As with the SNP, we cannot rely on them giving out the truth, three SNP insiders say that Sturgeon is poised to unveil drastic changes to her cabinet, while other sources close to Sturgeon’s office parrot that Sturgeon has no plans to change her ministerial team. 

In reality as the SNP is run as a one man band, it doesn’t matter how the deckchairs are changed on the SNP ‘ratship’. Once the ship starts sinking, there is no choice but to abandon ship, and as the polls show the shine is off the SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon.

In the wings, in the darkness, Alex Salmond waits for a chance to return, unlike the Lord of Rings, this episode of the ‘Return of the King’ wouldn’t have a happy ending. The fact of a reshuffle may come to pass as some long serving ministers apparently will be sacked, quit or moved sideways on Tuesday.

Are there dynamic people waiting in the wings to take up their posts, no, there is the same low road sheep that we are used to it, in fact we may see Sturgeon use the gimmick of promoting women. This would be just a stunt, in the past, the SNP ran with ‘SNP women will get things done’, well we saw thee result of that experiment, total abject failure.

The PR focus will be Nicola Sturgeon, the leader implementing   

Sturgeon is said to want new blood in the frontbench to promote what the SNP term ‘rising’ stars, the fact is the people such as gender balance in her government, the fact everything is falling about her is meaningless, just the 15 minutes of fame as an innovator.

So, who might get the chop and be heading for the backbenches, well the talk is that Fiona Hyslop, the Cabinet Secretary for Culture, Tourism and External Affairs, came to government and achieved nothing of note, only 11 years serve tho! Health Secretary Shona Robison is well overdue for the sack, but since she is a pal of Sturgeon, she might get a sideways move so she can keep a ministerial salary. New blood Cabinet could be a cover for moving Robison who hasn’t done well in post, and not done well in parliament defending her pitiful record.

The health crisis in the NHS is Scotland wide, even in her own backyard of Dundee, there is a crisis, plus a GP recruitment scandal, and waiting times for ambulances. Robison’s replacement could be Social Security Minister Jeane Freeman who hasn’t shined either as a minister, but it is said that she is well regarded by SNP backbenchers; basically a major dud is being replaced by a minor dud.  Someone who may also be moving is the ‘invisible man’ aka Michael Matheson, he didn’t fix Police Scotland. You never hear of Matheson as Justice Secretary except when Police Scotland raises its ugly head.

One of the funny ‘could be’ promoted is Transport Minister Humza Yousaf, described repeated by the press and the SNP as a ‘rising’ star, it should be noted that ‘bread’ rises quicker. Yousaf’s debacle at failing to keep the roads opened leading to food shortages in Scotland during the bad weather hasn’t been forgotten.  

So, who are the high flyers" from Holyrood's backbenches?

Well, no one of any talent really, some of the names doing the rounds are Kate Forbes, Mairi Gougeon, Clare Haughey, Jenny Gilruth and Ivan McKee. The names will probably be meaningless to you unless you are a political geek and even then you might say… who?

We might be saying bye bye to Fiona Hyslop, Fergus Ewing and Roseanna Cunningham, they can stay on the backbenches drawing a salary and clapping like a seal when Sturgeon speaks.

As we all know the next election is three years away, and even if Sturgeon changes her cabinet, the direction won’t be changing, and as of now, the polls predict that 2021 is shaping up to be a hung parliament. The big day is tomorrow apparently so if you think it is worth a watch tune in, I suspect that the heat and claims of dynamic etc etc will just be hot air.

This will be Nicola Sturgeon putting herself at the centre of a ‘gender balance’ Cabinet, so the claptrap will be about diversity not about fixing the growing backlog of problems that the last lot couldn’t cope with and left at their arse.

Finally, the Salmond Factor, having been dumped in 2017, Salmond will be looking for any port in a storm, which means his first port of call will be Holyrood. Sturgeon wants Salmond at Holyrood as someone would want a stone in their shoe. If you watched the decline of the SNP, the downward trajectory has all been driven by Nicola Sturgeon since 2015.

I don’t think the new blood injection will revive Nicola Sturgeon’s political corpse which is openly rotting away day by day, the people of Scotland have moved passed Nicola Sturgeon; she must know that now. 

If she doesn’t get a majority in 2021, she will be joining the very people she will be sacking on the backbenches, how delicious would that be? 

As a film buff, do you remember the movie, ‘Countess Dracula’, an old crony needing the blood of young women so she can go out in the world, look how that ended….. badly!

Yours sincerely

George Laird

The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University