FMQs: Scotland’s ‘jolly fat man’ Alex Salmond racks up his 215 FMQs appearance, he leaves office as a failure howling at the moon about how shipbuilding jobs loss would be “betrayal” of Scotland, the numb nut isn’t bright enough to understand the orders are coming, they have been promised

Dear All

Did you notice the historic event which has happened today?

Scotland’s ‘jolly fat man’ Alex Salmond did his last FMQs.

Did you notice that Scotland stopped?

Did you notice any tears in the streets?

Anyone saying don’t go?

Protests?

Support groups?

No one in Scotland cared about Alex Salmond leaving his post, so much for his popularity; it’s fickle is it not!

As per usual, Salmond used his last FMQs to try and be a statesman, he isn’t, as expected the SNP clique were full of praise for their ‘hero’ as he fades away.

What will remain however is his legacy of failure and the memory of his love of 5 star hotels.  

Alex Salmond has written to David Cameron demanding assurances over the future of thousands of Scottish shipbuilding jobs.

In an independent Scotland, they wouldn’t be a shipbuilding industry, how many jobs did unpopular Nicola Sturgeon and John Swinney when they did their Govan mercy mission when BAE wanted to shed 835 jobs?

They saved zero!

The British MoD will be placing warship orders within the UK, that’s Scotland to you and me, they have to consider the bigger picture; the idea of the order going to France is nonsense. If Cameron did this, his reputation would be mud.

And it would lose him the election….. trust must be maintained.

If Salmond is good at anything it is homing in on the gullible for votes, so he used the shipbuilding story to get in “betrayal” of referendum promises. This is because of what Admiral George Zambellas, the First Sea Lord, said yesterday the deal could go to France.

Zimbellas maybe an Admiral but he gets no final say, not even a hearing.

UK Ministers indicated that the deal to build 13 Type 26 frigates would be go to BAe on the Clyde in the event of a referendum No vote. That is the bottom line, the issue isn’t worth exploring further unless they change their mind, and they won’t because they can’t.

Salmond told MSPs the remarks:

“These remarks (by Zembella) are deeply troubling. They come not from some functionary in the Ministry of Defence, but the head of the Navy and this Parliament will ensure that the commitments and promises that have been made are honoured to the Clyde workers.”

These remarks by Salmond are also deeply troubling because they highlight how stupid and ignorant he is on military procurement and the wider political picture.

Alex Salmond is no Staesman, because a statesman would know a done deal when they saw it.

Tory leader Ruth Davidson said:

“Admirals don’t awards contract, the MoD awards contracts.”

And they only do so because the Cabinet has already made the decision for them, they do the paperwork.

The thinking bit has been done elsewhere.

In his last appearance, the chamber wasn’t all big hugs and kisses as Labour MSP Jackie Baillie had a go at him.

She said:

“We know the First Minister was passionate about independence. The tragedy is that he was so blinkered by that passion that Government actions to tackle poverty, reduce inequality and deliver social justice were pushed into second place.

Bailiee added:

“His legacy as First Minister will be his failure to use the powers at his disposal to make Scotland a better place.”

His last appearance done, his shift completed, there is little else to say but his career ends in failure.

Well done Alex Salmond, you will be a legend on toilet walls!

Yours sincerely

George Laird

The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University