Fake Nationalist outrage explodes as Police investigate the burning of Alex Salmond bonfire effigy on Guy Fawkes Night, as you can see by the picture, a lot of work was put in to capture the likeness of a dying Scottish despot on the road to obscenity, as Mel Gibson said in Braveheart..... ‘burn it’

Dear All

During the Scottish independence campaign, I saw Better Together activists outside the Central Station in Glasgow, you may remember I posted on this, a Yes guy was arguing with a BT activist was dead keen to find out the benefits of the Union. Having no luck it appears, he then comes up to me and gets in my face and starts off by saying:

“I have just been talking to your pal”.

At that point, I informed him, he wasn’t my pal, facts matter, anyway, he then goes onto ask me, ‘give me a benefit of staying in the Union’. As quick as a flash, I said access to 200 Embassies in 160 countries, he prompted called me a liar. I said look it up, the information is available to the public. He stormed off in the huff, if he asked for another benefit, I was going to then say visa free travel to 173 countries, but he was off, it was a Friday, probably had to get home to feed the cat.     

Back to benefits of being in the Union, it appears that an English town has decided to burn an effigy of Alex Salmond on bonfire night, thus leading to howls of fake outrage by independence supporters. It also appears that the indy supporters objected to the people in Lewes exercising their human right to free of expression. Such was the depth of their outrage; they took to twitter, which does beg the question, why was a land invasion ruled out?

Also we should remember that unpopular Nicola Sturgeon wouldn’t have supported it thereby putting in jeopardy her free seats in the Royal box at Wimbledon sitting eating ice cream and strawberries with our English oppressors while watching the tennis.

The giant effigy of Alex Salmond is carted around the town to drum up supports before being burned at the stake at the popular Lewes bonfire celebrations in East Sussex.

As well as Salmond going up in smoke, the organisers also decided to burn ‘Nessie’, but more importantly, the also decide to burn the ridiculous ‘45’ symbol that the plebs have latched onto as a symbol of hope.

In Scotland, only 37.7% of Scots eligible to vote actually voted  Yes in the Scottish referendum, that means the other 62.3% voted No or couldn’t be arsed going to cast their vote.

Lewes has a proud tradition of bonfire societies burning prominent political figures, and they use the burning event to stake their claim to be the world’s greatest bonfire event. On Facebook, some people were quick to make comments about the burning from the Unionist leaning persuasion with some saying ‘shite doesn’t burn’! Alex Salmond joins a long list of people being thrown on the fire, last year, Bashar al-Assad, the Syrian president, was burned.  2012, David Cameron and Nick Clegg went up in flames which caused much happiness. And to show their European and diverse cultural identities, previous guys have included Angela Merkel and Osama Bin Laden.

Some bright spark from East Sussex County Council possibly sensing this would make a good story in the year of Alex Salmond’s political death tweeted a photograph of the Salmond guy. Obviously stoking the flames, pun intended! But to be terribly PC and right on, they did point out that the council had nothing to do with the choice, it was the local Waterloo Bonfire Society.

18^th September 2014, Salmond met his Waterloo alright!

The event marks the date of the uncovering of the Gunpowder Plot in 1605, but also commemorates the memory of 17 Protestant martyrs from the town who were burned at the stake in the 16th century.

In the olden days, state murder was very much the vogue, being burned, drowned, or hacked to death, most without the absence of proper due process as we understand it now.

Burning now is restricted to effigies.

Several societies in Lewes put on parades and there are firework displays, with up to 80,000 spectators visiting the town, which has a population of circa 16,000. At the end of his political career, Alex Salmond is reduced to opening supermarkets and being publicly burned; next stop a place on Britain’s got no talent.

A spokesman for the First Minister said:

"The Tory-controlled East Sussex County Council obviously view the First Minister, and the 45 per cent of Scots who voted Yes, as big a threat to the Westminster establishment as Guy Fawkes, although it's unclear why poor Nessie has been targeted."

“Tory-controlled”, looks like the kind of talk you get from a 90 minute Nationalist, it won’t have mattered who controlled the council; you can also see the petted lip trembling with fake outrage wanting to get the bile out.

In a double blow, Salmond also made it to a shortlist of possible guys for the Edenbridge Bonfire Society's celebrations in Kent but like the Scottish independence referendum, he lost out with the public over the issue of the EU, when Jose Manuel Barroso, former president of the European Commission was picked.

Barroso was chosen after Britain was told to pay an extra pounds1.7 billion to the European Union.

The British consensus with the general public has been starting to collate around ‘fuck that game of soldiers’, not a bean is the public’s desire, it is like being pissed on without someone have the decency to call it rain.

Speculation about this year's guy began when William Hill, the boookies named Jeremy Clarkson, the Top Gear presenter, as the favourite. He should at some point win out in future as he is becoming more and more outrageous as time goes on. Why Clarkson hasn’t been disciplined or fired from Top Gear is one of life’s mysteries, I guess, the BBC don’t want to break up the winning team.

Previous effigies in Edenbridge have included Tony and Cherie Blair, Gordon Brown, Edwina Currie, John Prescott, Mario Balotelli, Wayne Rooney, Lance Armstrong and Russell Brand.

Presumably their followers took to twitter to display a similar amount of fake outrage as the Nationalists are currently doing. No doubt the wailing and gnashing of how their ‘hero’ has been treated has struck a raw nerve. You can tell Salmond wasn’t pleased as he tried to joke his way out of it by saying what did they have against ‘Nessie’? Probably nothing, it was probably a representation of the fact that ‘Nessie’ like Salmond is all about fiction and sweet FA to do with facts.

I would expect the ‘outrage’ to die down fairly quick because Salmond is yesterday’s man and the ‘clique’ will be sniffing around unpopular Nicola Sturgeon’s ass as she becomes the new sacred cow. I don’t see an effigy of Sturgeon getting the same treatment because it is unlikely she will become a force with her student politics second rate delivery.

In the spirit of being petty, someone has lodged a complaint with the East Sussex Police.

A Sussex Police statement said:

"We are aware of the portrayal of Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond as an effigy at the 2014 Lewes Bonfire event and acknowledge that concerns have been raised. Whilst we accept there is a long tradition of creating effigies of high-profile individuals in politics, sport, the media, etc, a complaint has nevertheless been received and will be investigated."

In the end Fireworks were stuck up its arse to destroy it, works for me! 

Yours sincerely

GeorgeLaird

The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University