Scottish independence: Scotland’s ‘jolly fat man’ Alex Salmond accused of being paranoid after his bizarre rant that UK and Spanish Governments are ‘plotting’ against him, keep your ‘political tampon’ on Alex, screaming like a bitch in the night upsets civilians at their tea!

Dear All

Scotland’s ‘jolly fat man’ Alex Salmond is losing the plot, in what must be the most delusional rant ever to come out of his fat gob this year, he is accusing the British and Spanish governments of plotting "hand in glove" against his attempt at a Yes vote.

Are there ‘Reds under the bed’ too at Bute House?

Are there Spaniards standing on street corners in Glasgow saying vote No?

It seems that the closer to the ‘day of political death’ that Salmond draws near too, the more screaming like a bitch will be coming into the public domain.

 At this point, it is time for an adapted quote from Kick Ass 2.

“Keep your tampon on Alex.”

Yes, Alex, keep your political tampon on, no one has hit you yet but already you are claiming political blood on the carpet.

At Xmas, Salmond went with the Xmas card theme of the fourth wise man, oh what he would give to have even one wise man in his rabble.

The claim of a "stitch-up" between David Cameron and Spanish Prime ­Minister Mariano Rajoy is laughable; Spain will do what is in its economic interests to maintain its unity. They don’t need outside advice.

In a bizarre outburst, Alex Salmond blurted out:

"Mr Rajoy is speaking for David Cameron and the Tories by proxy."

The Unionist’s must be so happy that Salmond is falling apart, coming apart at the seams, maybe too much fat in his diet, or he has eaten to much is so full shit, it’s gotta come out sometime!

The Scottish Conservatives presumably without the benefit of a medical degree to back up their assessment accused the First Minister of "paranoia".

Paranoia is a thought process believed to be heavily influenced by anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. 

Simply put… Nutter!

Down in Downing Street, the Conservatives were packing up for the hols and dismissed claims of Cameron influencing the Spanish government as just laughable.

Salmond's ferocious dead sheep attack follows on from the damaging intervention by Rajoy early to highlight a self evident truth; that Scotland would have to apply as a new member if it wants to join the EU.

His intervention casts major doubts on the SNP case that it would be all straightforward and a shoo-in for an independent Scotland to be an EU member.

28 members have the right of veto.

In Spain there is a popular break-away movement in Catalonia, Spain's most prosperous region.

But in Scotland, there isn’t a popular break-away movement because the SNP don’t give a shit about working class Scots.

Rajoy’s position is pretty straightforward when he said that if part of an EU state chose independence, it would put itself outside the EU and need to apply for re-entry.

He added:

"This is a fact - it's neither a value judgment nor an opinion, it's simply a fact."

Rajoy's comments were deeply awkward for Salmond who along with Scotland’s unpopular Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon has buried any realistic chance due to gross stupidity and incompetence.

Apparently the ‘face of independence’ can’t drum up any support, and the SNP thought she would bring in the women’s vote, didn’t happen.

Recently the case of Pauline Toms came into the public domain; she went to see her local SNP MSP and Government Minister for help.

She got no help but she did get this:

“I cannot affect clinical decisions; I do not have that power”.

So, there you have it another Scots woman left to die because the SNP MSP couldn’t be bothered to fight for her.

This guy is the public health minister, however, he seemed upset after he was sent a copy of the brutally frank recording and asked why he could not use his senior position to rectify the "significant mistakes" he highlighted at NHS Forth Valley.

He didn’t want it public that he was leaving a woman to die, he is such a "sensitive man", he really 'cares' about his arse cheeks, his pension and his re-election attempt in 2016, he gets it you know.

Concerned by his views being made public with a Scottish independence referendum coming up, he started phoning the Toms family with three calls in a half-an-hour period. Then he sent round his secretary, a friend of Mrs Toms in an attempt to pacify the situation.

The SNP is run as a ‘rat ship’, this is something I have heighted time and time again, the sheer incompetence of some of these people beggar’s belief.

What SNP Government Minister Micahel Matheson should have done was to pick up the phone and got this woman the help she needed, leaving people to die isn’t an option.

It is dead easy, you pick up the phone, explain who you are, you tell the people on the other end you don’t give a fuck what they think and ask them if they know about career ending events. And you stress that you want them to come through this for the sake of their family, real empathy shit because budgets are tight and we need the right people in the right jobs.

Anyway now things have changed, Ms. Toms is now awaiting tests for possible surgery, its Xmas, well in this case more like bad publicity for the anti working class SNP.

So, we have a First Minister screaming like a bitch, and another SNP Government Minister happy to continue the ‘Sturgeon legacy’ of parking their arse cheeks doing nothing and leaving people to die.

And they wonder why no one has the time of day for these people!

Yours sincerely

George Laird

The Campaign for Human Rights at Glasgow University